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Archive for the ‘Film News’ Category

DJ: Skyline

Imagine the scene; you spent a night partying with Turk from Scrubs, and you wake up the morning after in order to find out the Los Angeles has been invaded by aliens. You’re trapped in your apartment building with a small number of survivors, cut off from the outside world, able only to witness what appears to be the downfall of mankind, and become increasingly panicky as the probing aliens get nearer and nearer. On top of that, you also have to contend with the personalities of the people around you, who under pressure start to unravel and do stupid things.

It’s an interesting idea, at least. Unfortunately, Skyline fails to live up to any promise it might have had by being utterly awful. Foremost amongst its problems is that it attempts to tell the story of an epic, otherworldly disaster from the perspectives of a small group of humans, like Cloverfield did. Unfortunately, the characters are flat, devoid of personality, their individual nuances and dramas contrived, unexciting, and so stereotypical my eyes bleed. Here’s a quick rundown; the major couple, whose names I can’t even fucking remember, are stressed because the lady thinks that the bloke wants to move to LA permanently to set up with his buddy. He doesn’t, it’s all a huge misunderstanding, which they somehow don’t manage to get around to sorting out for ages. Okay, so you might think that this is excusable, given that there’s an alien invasion happening, but over the course of the film the characters spend more time sitting around talking to each other about their problems than they do doing anything even tangentially related to aliens. The first half an hour or so rips off Cloverfield even more so than the rest of the film, by spending time ‘getting to know’ these disgusting, uninteresting people before all hell breaks loose.

Like so.

Of course, the end result of this is that it’s hard to give a damn when anyone except Donald Faison gets killed off, and that’s only because he’s pretty much still playing Turk. And he gets trod on before the film even reaches the halfway mark, leaving us with a cast of idiots, and me rooting for the aliens. But even they are tired, insipid and uninspired, since it seems that whoever is responsible for the travesty that Skyline is had no original ideas at all. Let’s take a look:

  1. The whole arrival and landing of the aliens, as well as a later aerial battle between alien drone ships and human fighter pilots, is frame for frame nicked from Independence Day. I’m not even exaggerating, they are literally the same.
  2. Then there’s the whole ‘we don’t know what’s happening’ aspect; since the characters are stuck in a penthouse apartment with views all over the city, a plot-powered fog descends, obscuring the nasty sounds coming from below, allowing the characters to only catch brief glimpses of gargantuan shapes moving around down there. Hello again, Cloverfield.
  3. This theme is furthered carried on in how we find out very little about the aliens and their motivations, other than that they apparently are quite fond of human brains. A recurring element of the film is their ability to somehow get inside the minds of humans with a weird blue light, and how this has a strange effect on the main protagonist, turning him into some sort of superhuman. None of that is ever explained at all.
  4. When the beasties finally do start to appear, they come in two forms; gigantic super-aliens that stomp around breaking things, straight out of War of the Worlds, and floating, tentacley aliens, which you might know better as the Sentinels from the Matrix films.

The film ends with all of the main characters seemingly dead, and a sad montage of the aliens generally taking over and blowing stuff up. I’m telling you this now to attempt to kill any further curiosity you might have had, to save you two hours. But , incredibly, that isn’t the end; after the fade to black, we wake up with the main character’s lady friend onboard the mothership, with brains being harvested all around. As she’s about to get chewed up, an alien monster bursts in and wrecks everything, saving her: it’s her boyfriend, the superhuman, whose brain now powers an alien whilst he retains knowledge of who he was.

WAIT A MINUTE THIS HAPPENED IN DISTRICT 9! AARRGH FGGFHFTHJMKJ V…

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If you hear one piece of movie news today, which unfortunatly this week appears to be the case, it should be this! The trailer for Sacha Baron Cohen’s new film Bruno has been released! And it looks awesome! check it out here

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I’ve have just read one of the most amazing articles I have even seen in my life!? Go Read

According to these guys Monsters Vs Aliens is a conspiracy! To misguide the common public into believing the goverment is side tracking us, making us believe aliens are science fiction!

This story is however accompanied with a video makes it all appear tongue in cheek and not so serious, thank god!!

Very amusing to say the least!

Can’t wait for the film!

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New, nice long trailer is available here. Looks awesome!

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Well, I do apologies for the delay! As has been mentioned, real life kind of got in the way, however we’re back and here is your dose of weekly, interesting, and painful movie news!

Lets get painful out of the way shall we,

I’ll start with a new film entitled Merman “The story follows a merman who comes to land so he can win back his mermaid fiancee, who has left him for a real man” Doesn’t that make you feel good about the film industry, you see Slumdog and smile, you then see this proposal, and cry!!

Keeping on my movie news theme of sequels, “Meet the Fockers” series is getting a new addition. Aptly titled “The Little Fockers” Yea, I’m sure that’ll improve the series as much as the second did. More hysterical moments from Mr Ben Stiller i’m sure. This is in very, very early stages but will no doubt be backed by the big money film making guys and eventually end up on our screens

Let’s cheer us up with a bit of animation, namely Disney/Pixars ‘Up’ and Dreamworks ‘Monsters vs Aliens’, both making their appearence, with what appears to be the new standard, 3D.
New extended trailers have are now available for Up, check Youtube. To be honest, from what I’ve seen, it looks boring! An old balloon salesman ties thousands of balloons to his house and floats to South Africa, only to find he accidentally bought an 8 year old boy along with him. It then follows their journey. Check out the trailers let me now what you think, I was not really impressed.
Monsters Vs Aliens is a different story! This piece looks amazing!!!! When aliens attack earth a swarm of mutant monsters are made to protect the planet. Including the hysterical Insectosaurus and a bunch of other amusing characters which look straight out of Ricky Gervais, Flanimals, this film really looks awesome! Out very soon this film looks a fantastic piece and a good, fun, Easter film.

Now we’re looking better, prove that something GOOD is actually happening, there is more.

As much as I slate sequels, occasionally a piece comes along which really tugs the right strings, for me, this is the SAW series. Now I know there are many, many other sides to this argument but I, Although having not seen 5 yet, have thoroughly enjoyed the series, and when 5 was released I loved and believed the tag line ‘you won’t believe how it ends.’ Now, bearing in mind I haven’t seen 5 yet, in which some amazing bewildering twist may become apparent, that tag line seemed to announce the end of the series to me, and I liked that. To definitively and clearly bring the whole franchise to an end was very commendable, but no! News of SAW VI is on its way. Apparently, this movie will be a lot more violent that the rest, with traps pitting the victims against each other, sounds interesting. I feel a little let down though, having been told it was the ending once… I keep waiting to buy the final box set of all the films, thought 5 was it but I’ll clearly be waiting for a little while longer!

With the new and seemingly interesting!?! will discuss at a later date, transformers 2 coming out, the rumours were already abound for T (for transformers!!!) 3. It’s been announced the screen writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, plan to move on, in fear of getting stale. This will lead to all possibilities for T3, should it happen or, quite possible, not.

Finally I want to leave you with a good, interesting trailer for a film coming out soon called Year One. Starring two actors I like, Jack Black and Michael Cera (Juno, Superbad) Seems an interesting concept and a nice mix of styled actors, I think this one could be pretty amusing, enjoy here

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SC: Batman 3 News!!

There has been a lot of discussion about whether a 3rd Batman will actually be made. With the super success of the 2nd it was going to have to be very, very strong film yet the films were always originally designed to be a trilogy. The executive producer, Michael Uslan, has now been quoted stating that; He will be on board as exec producer of Batman 3 and it will be roughly planned for a 2011 release. He mentions nothing more but does state, if he did give anymore information away he would have to kill us. Although this is very secretive it sounds like something will be on its way. That is awesome!

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So, this does appear to actually be working weekly so I thought I would announce it in the title. Couple more film news and features this week for you to feast your eyes upon.

I would like to start with news which is nothing ‘new’, as such, but new things about older things. Yea, it’ll all become clear shortly!

First, for all you Kill Bill fans out there! As some of you may know, or at least assume, Kill Bill part 1 and 2 was originally filmed as a very long film with a short intermission. The new blu-ray version, which Tarantino himself has been quoted announcing, will be released with an extra seven minute section including footage which was written but never made it into the two films. Kinda a little tie-in which could develop the story even more. It may not seem much but it looks like it could be pretty cool!

Secondly in our nothing new but still new news Christian Bale in The Terminator: Salvation has been getting himself into a bit of a frenzy. I invite you all to listen to this audio piece, HERE. Basically the director of photography gets within his eye sight while he is filming a scene and he absolutely bollocks him!!! He goes seriously mental including the line of “I will not come back on this set until you are fired!” It is film quality itself and certainly deserves a DVD extra! So funny although I should give a quick explicit warning as he swears, an awful lot! However it is very, very funny and well worth a listen.

To more new film news, there are a good couple of things that have arisen to my attention this week and some pretty poor ones too.

Firstly is one that could have been given a mention last week but I’m still deliberating over whether I’m happy about it or not. This is that they will be making a Tom and Jerry feature length film. This on its own sounds pretty awesome, but this is going off the back of the, apparent success?, of Alvin and the Chipmunks. This feels a little bit like sacrilege to me, of a totally decent piece of cartoon work. It shouldn’t be done and well surly the film will be pants! Not really happy.

On more unhappy film news, Capcom have been talking about films. The sentence is enough for me! They mention Resident Evil and Street Fighter, great games but films… surly not!! They also want to push their new idea of Lost Planet. They plan to spend $150-200 Million dollars on this film and I have to ask why? Knowing it is simply yet another 3rd person shoot em up game I feel very un-enthused by the whole idea as it is, but to make it a film!! I’m cringing as I write! James Bond makes ok games but the films come first. Hitman was an alright example of making a film of a game but things like this, it’s like making films of all the other tiring and endless 1st and 3rd person shoot em up games! They are all so much the same, the game-play makes it different, the storyline doesn’t, that’s the bit that makes the film!

Another franchise decision is making films based on board games! yea, that’s right, the ones you are forced to play as kids yet occasionally enjoy as adults! Either way a film? And yes, this means going to the extremity because I did read rumours that Ridley Scott may be given the task of making a monopoly movie! Yes, that’s right, monopoly! The other board game I have heard about is less game but more board, Ouija. Hasn’t this been done before with Jumanji and re done, fairly well, with Zathura: A Space Adventure. Cross them with The Sixth Sense and you already have the lot. I would like to be proved wrong but I do thing this ‘trend’ will pop up and very quickly be pulled back under again!

The final news I would like to mention is more inspiring, happy piece of news. Some of you may remember the 9 year old Alec Greven. He’s the little kid that wrote a leaflet entitled “How to talk to girls” This actually got published, sent out to schools and he made a little name for himself. This eventually grew to become a four book series and has now gone as far as being picked up in America and is now arranged to be produced into a film by Shawn Levy (Night at the Museum director). Now sure this could be another waste of industries time producing another ball ache of a film but I like its origins. It is very real and kinda puts across the American dream to all those that follow and believe in it. I think it’s a nice little story. A story in a week so full of awful ideas that maybe something could work and hopefully, one day, once again, we can have something good to talk about.

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